A blog that attempts to parody the critiques of former Idol judge Simon Cowell as both tribute to his excellence and realism and loyal devotion to the reality check he brought to the contestants.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
8 Perform – Jacob
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Your biggest problem, Jacob, was that you had precisely zero real emotional connection to this song. I have no idea what Steven Tyler's comments meant. All, I can say is that was the worst performance of the night. Randy needs to take out his ear plugs and really listen. Dogs and cats won't sleep tonight the world over. I don't have anything constructive to say at all. Time to go back to the drawing board. You've got zero star quality. After last week's outrageously poor performance, it would have been wise for you to look in the mirror and come up with something the opposite of this rubbish.
What if Ryan asked Simon, "What should Jacob do to salvage this?"
Frankly, I doubted he'd be here this week. I guess you cannot count him out, but based on tonight and the summation of his journey, I'd say this will be his next to last performance. I can still see a spark of hope in some of the other contestants, but I've seen nothing to lead me to believe Jacob is going to get any better in six weeks. Give the other guys and girls a chance. Jacob would seem to have squandered any remaining good will. Like I said before, there's just no star quality in his performances. If he gets another week, I already said time to go back to the drawing board, but I really mean just that.
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Yeah, Z., I never got this guy. He was never that great, and he keeps getting worse. Hmm, I might have to change my vote as to who's going home! Could you add a vote for that?
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