Click here to read what this author thinks Simon might have said during each show and after each contestant.

| 8 Perform | 8 Results | 7 Perform | 7 Results | 6 Perform |

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

8 Perform – Casey

| Intro | Paul | Lauren | Stefano | Scotty | Haley | Jacob | James |

"Nature Boy"? Casey, well you know I wouldn't have saved you. As much I've prayed you'd get a proper shave and haircut, I now see that, like, Sampson, gone with the hair went not only your ability to sing but to perform. That was absolutely horrendous, self-indulgent, and unforgivable. If Randy and Jennifer have to continue to justify you by saying you're an artist, which sadly this season has become a euphemism for "too terrible to even describe in words in the English language", and you're like some fringe performers who've sold many albums, you should realize something's not working. If you get a next time, listen to the professionals, and make better choices. Try to grow the hair back fast. I never thought I'd say that. More than anything you need coaching on stage presence. Watch your tapes and look at your face. Your expressions and motions look completely detached from what you're doing. It's like watching amateur hour and this is too late in the competition for amateurs, I think.

What if Ryan asked Simon, "Do you think you are being too hard on Casey?"
If I wanted Casey to go home next, I'd tell him he was an artist. No, I don't think I'm too hard on him. Do you want him to improve? Look, after ten seasons one thing is obvious, America can't stand self-indulgent people or people who come across that way. Look, we all liked Crystal Bowersox last year, but she lost because she never was able to break it to us that she was just as interested in her own untested artistry and our ability to spot true artistry. Casey's in this same category. You can ignore all the advice you want, but if you end up in the bottom three again, you'll know why. If you get sent packing you'll understand.

1 comment:

  1. Hilarious, but real, Casey needs to hear this. Also everyone needs to get that idea about "you're an artist" equalling this years, "Um, sorry, but you are stinking up the stage!".